driving

It was snowing today.
I was driving Jenna back to Dview station after dinner tonight and the car almost slid off the road into a ditch when I realized I'm in North America and in a flash I saw my whole life for what it is. And it was choppy and I had a deep tenderness for it and it made me happy inside.
And I felt happy. Deeply deeply happy.

this happy feeling felt like when I used to rub ointment on my great-grandma's back in Romania. It was chinese ointment with some weird active menthol ingredient in it that burned after rubbing. it was a sleepy, refreshing, warm warm burning.
that's how it feels at the bottom of my ribcage, inside me right now. like pieces have meshed together. disparate, joined, finding solid ground, unified.
I have so much to study and so many friends to see. Panic@the Disco