Maroon 5 - Daylight

So here I was today. My second last day home in...god knows how long.
Every time I'm home it's harder to leave. One day I'll do the unthinkable I think. I'll just stay. Home.

Anyway, here I was. In my neighbourhood Ikea - across from the movie theatre I grew up watching movies in. Across from the mini golf place I just spent hours in with this handsome, kind kind man I met over the holidays.

So, here we were. Trekking in the cold snow. Hand in hand.
Walking down the aisles. Him telling me about the movie sets he's done lighting for. Me telling him about silly cases and stupid England. His family came to Canada from Ireland on the ..Mayflower. I know. How perfect right?
We come across the posters. There's a poster of Toronto facing London.
I get it God! I get it God of Irony! It's hilarious. There's us in the middle.

Anyway, there we are. The London photographic poster has the picture of the 38 Victoria. The bus I took from Victoria St. to King's Cross. Before Paris. I imagined a tiny Adriana sitting on the bus. Not ever getting up. Not ever having to. Not ever having to leave a place again. Staying.
I don't want to leave home.
Not wanting to leave. March down more aisles. We get to the flowers. It's 9pm. IKEA closes. We're getting thrown out. I stare at the white orchids. He buys me one. I squeal, kiss his hands, his face.
We make out in his truck, we watch a beautiful movie.
We walk in the cold snow, he comes into my house, hears my dogs bark.
I am grateful for him.
He cured the broken heart I've had. For a long time. For all the wrong men I've invited into me.
He saw me at a Christmas party eating cookies and he took a chance.
I am leaving the kind of Canada I used to envision when I was little in my bed in Bucharest. When Daddy would send letters and say Canada was magical and white and clean and fresh and there were opportunities here. And pretty houses.
I am grateful for home. I am grateful.
By the time I come home, I'll be ready to stay. And stay I will.
A year ago this time, I was leaving a different Canada. And I was sad. What a year.

I wish for the strength to fight for the happiness I have built. For the understanding I am beginning to harbour. I wish for strength. For me and my loved ones.

Good night.
England, see you on the flip side.