This sun

is a tiny dot. Find it somewhere in this stack of needles.

Needles?

Yes, yes of course. Needles my dear. 

 

I

I

I found the heart of it all. 

The crystal, the metal, the colour, the smoke. 

Ryan found his inspiration after having lost his mind.

I found him high out of his fucking mind. Tall, lanky, blue-eyed and beautiful beside his coffin.Truck. He was smoking a few and I came tripping over myself, my jeans baggy and my shoes untied because there was so little time you see. The sun shone on him at a slant. At a weird angle. Like he was an ancient piano or ancient fighter jet left in the ground, left to become part of it all. Refusing to rot, to let go. Unwilling to surrender. Deep in the Okanagan. Such a magnificent sight - this man defeated and undefeated.

I sit beside him. 

"Wanna share it? Don't hold out on me now"

"Where did you manage to come from?"

I came from nowhere. I am nothing.

We share some. It's a crystal.

I love it.

I

I

 

I know the misaligned slopes. The way we surf the coasts of 

 - well of -

each other you know?

That look you gave me when you saw me from across the room, dancing alone drinking some pink punch.

Well now. Look at this tangled up mess.  All the men I need you to be for all the women in me. For all the men I've sheltered. Here. And the snake that slithered up my back and made its way in my hair. So I'm walking around Medusa like and clunky and kinda panicky. 

Panicky?

hell yeah panicky man. The venom. The venom.

Why?

Because it's sexy and dangerous and risky but it just feels so good.

To hold the snake?

No, to live with the fear.