Homebound.

I bought my ticket for Toronto! I'll be home in 3 weeks and I couldn't be happier.
There are decisions to be made and I've made mine.
Korea taught me how to breathe again. Korea gave me hope and courage. Korea gave me strength.

When I got here I was dead. And I got here and I was lost and anonymous and paralyzed and very cold..and I just remember falling all the time.
It's hard to talk about because I feel like a billion years have passed in the last 6 months.
Every month felt like a decade and sometimes it felt like a day.

But then the days gained momentum and I felt free and I felt like myself again. I'm myself again.
I ran away from home. I didn't have to or need to. I knew what I was going to do with my life and I knew I could wait for England.
 I ran to the other side of the world so I can start again. And I did. Alongside my life back home is the life I've made here. My friendships and my work and the yoga and the kids and Whitey and everything I've learned..mostly about myself.
I came here to escape but you can't escape yourself. I don't want to escape myself anymore. I am what I am and I'm not changing.

Goodbyes are very painful. I'm going home for a bit before I embark on a whole other journey..again.
I'm moving to England for 3 years in October but before that I'm staying with my aunt in Paris for a month. I miss Paris. Then I'm seeing my grandparents in Bucharest. Afterwards, I'll be with Emel in Turkey and Danie in Norway.  I'm bouncing around Europe for most of August and September and I can't wait for the sleepless nomadic days to begin.

Somewhere before all of that I'm bringing Kim to Toronto and doing a road trip across the East Coast. Which brings me to Kimmie.
Kim is my sister. I met her and she just fit in my heart like a puzzle piece. She's leaving tomorow and I've still not processed.
I wish there was a way to explain how much I love her and how much she means to me but I can't. I can't because my heart is full and words are meaningless.
She's an amazing teacher and an even better friend. I wish every Anca has a Kim and every Kim has an Anca.
Kim taught me to let go.
So, I've made friendships I didn't expect to make. I wanted anonymity. But you get tired of being a faceless someone for a while.
I'm just ready to go back home now. When I was seventeen I once blogged about how there are so many lives to be lived in one. And I got that here. There's a life within the life within the life I've made here. And it doesn't stop. It shouldn't stop.
Here's to living out of a suitcase for the next 3 months. Here's to freedom and pool zonks with Jennster (I miss the hell out of my Jennster) and operas with Mel and deck talks with ma and pa. And drives with Alis and movies with Sar. I miss my "life"life a little and I can't wait to be home.