Being home.

 My first week here I was down ye olde Queen West with Alis....where all the junkies and prostitutes and glamour barbs hang out for pints and daiquiris where lo and behold..I encounter a pizza slice. Fuck, I love Toronto. It's a dump and it's only getting better.

 Sar-bear and Adri at Cafe Diplomatico. We were trying to show Sara's Italian cousin, Irene, the most beautiful parts of our city. This is where they make the best pizza, we boasted.

 Irene: "THIS?!?!?! But this is like the frozen pizzas we--aa make-aaa back--aaa home-aaa in Napoli"
Fakk. It's fine. We just had sangria instead. :)

 And more sangria.

 andd moooooreeeeeeee SANGRIAAAAAAAA.

 indie concert via Alis and Jennster.

 I was too in love with the lead singer. Needed. Front.ROw.seats???

 yup.

 Jennster+Adri

 High. I gatta say..I love the folks in the background.

 Kel-star. She loves cheese. A lot. We're in this posh old-maid store in Kleinburg looking for a kick and a giggle when she comes across this. :) Love her.

 Ashy loves her pasta. Hard. I love her harder. I missed her.

 And then I stopped loving Toronto. I started loving food again.

 And daddy! He looks like Despereaux here. We went to the Carrib for a family vacation. Came back last week.

 mommy and her souffle.

 Perfect. Lobby. I must say.

 She loves Peace'ing.

 where I get my muscles. haw haw.

 Meet Francisco. Probably biggest crush I've ever had on someone. Francisco reminded me I'm a woman and a girl. Yeah I know. Dominican waiter, european girl on vacation with her parents. SIIIghghghghhghghghghsdghsfjhdlkgjhlkdgjhldkhjglkfhlkjghlfkhjflkh

 ahahaha chocolate sauce on the face. check

 I'm a tool.

 Good-bye Gran Bahia Principe Ambar!
Hello Toronto pool!

That's been the last 25 days. That and lots and lots...and lots of yoga. And junkying around and staying up.
Signed up with a yoga studio here and I go twice daily. I still run. I still skype Kimmie and Cindy. I still miss Jules and Whitey.
I went on a date a few days ago with someone really cool. He's refreshing and no hassles. We laughed, we stayed up all night meandering down forbidden streets, swinging in old parks by fave pubs. We talk everyday and he doesn't push up on me. We just laugh. I like his eyes. I like his messy hair. I like his name.
Everyday is new. Everyday is just good.

A year ago seems lifetimes ago. I remember the sadness the way you remember a blurry history lesson you crammed for. You remember the desk you sat at and maybe who was around you but you don't remember the dates. You don't remember what you actually studied for.
I have lost the emotional memory. I know last summer was a dump but I can't quite place my finger on the hurt. Coming back, I would have loved to anatomize the feeling but then I got caught up with life and forgot to take out my stethoscope. By the time I remembered, there was no point. Because there's no place in this hugeeeee huge huge huge ever-growing, large, gigantic, enormous life of ours for an inch of misplaced sadness. I'm 25. I won't be young forever. I'm closing my eyes and going forward. Against fears and insecurities and all the bullshit shackles that remain (because they will remain) and I'm staying alive.
I'd love to say I'll blog more because the Miles&Smiles journey is far from over..but right now I need to just live. Korea feels like something that happened in a dream that bled into my real life. I've even seen someone who has hurt me a lot a year ago. It felt like we were old childhood friends who had gone through a war. I laughed in his face and had another vodka double. Because let's be serious. All you can do is laugh.

I'll write soon, I promise.
Lovelovelovelovelove,
-me