I did it again.

first of all, I'm sending good vibes and love love  to my dear Steph who got the job of her dreams in Good ole' Alberta
last time I saw dear steph, we were wasted talking about heath ledger boys in Australia who ruin lives.

Secondly!!!!!!!!!!

I....have been bad.


Sweaty palmed, spilling coffee left-right-centre I realized I've relapsed.
Yes, armed with my contract books and my shitty case summaries and my crim notes..I stopped studying in the law section of the library.

I just stopped.
I know. Bad Adriana. Bad bad bad Adriana.
But  I just can't stop myself.
So, as I ascend and dodge sketchy looks and tweed upon tweed upon tweed.I make my way to the fifth floor.
I catch smell of old manuscripts, and I go hide....in the literature section.






I know, ok?
I'm not exactly proud of it.
It's just that things make more sense here. When I take breaks from Lord Diplock's monologues, I skip to PT 2626 and leaf through Maurois.
If I'm feeling supah-dupah bad, then I go and get lost in Kafka. But it takes hours to  peel away from him so I told him No means NO.
Instead, I read his published diaries at night. He's pretty hilarious.
I'm trying to recover from a bad bronchitis just in time before the boy comes to visit me in March. I took a chance and said fuck-it. I said, hey Adriana! You deserve to be happy. So, despite the anxiety and the overwhelming desire to run away again, I'll just be calm and retreat where the books are old and I'm always welcome. And never abandoned.